Wild Spells is a collision between the heaviness of doom metal and the intricacy of folk, with soft vocals and shimmering keys contrasting heavy guitar and bass. The Storm is a song about my struggle to come to terms with an abusive relationship over a decade after its conclusion, recovery, and the stigma of talking openly about abuse.
I’m still unlearning toxic behaviors I internalized as "normal" at such a young age. It’s funny how predators can identify when a person is at their most vulnerable and take advantage of it. My abuser, who was nearly 20 when he targeted me as a 15-year-old, pressured me to enter a relationship during a time of immense transition in my life.
The years I spent in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship have shaped who I am today. For years well into adulthood, I've struggled to allow myself to express vulnerability around others.
It’s no accident that nearly every person close to me in my life is a victim or survivor of similar abuse. We all gravitate to each other because we get it. There’s no explaining away our triggers or trying to ignore our anxieties—we just feel openly and express willingly.
The good news: the current people in my life have demonstrated that kindness, unconditional love, and healthy vulnerability is possible. My bandmates and friends have done everything they can to encourage discourse about abuse, keep abusers out of our music scene, and protect other young, vulnerable women who might be in the same position as I was.
This song is my attempt at presenting this emotional evolution to the world. If you’re a person who has felt threatened by patriarchal power structures, this is for you. If you’re someone who has wondered how it must feel to live a life without abuse, this song is for you. If you have survived, you’re recovering, or you are a victim, this is for you. I love you, and you are worthwhile.